I wrote a poem for my school newspaper. Not sure if the form works, but I hope I achieved the effect I was aiming for. Feedback would be much appreciated. So here it goes:
Once Upon A Time
I watched my star of innocence atop
My roof go down, like brash Phaeton whose
Discontentment of his lot on earth, sought
To let the threads that held him earthbound loose.
No great amount of truth-seeking can rend
The veil that hides the truth that in man dwell
Such greed and pride and selfishness that bent -
A perfect world into a perfect hell.
A quick peek, a furtive peep – Terror yields.
Now I know not to which tale I make my plea:
That which, truth concealed or that which it reveals
This then my despairing confession be:
I pine for ‘once upon a time’ – that myth
Before the painted veil called life was lift.
Is the Phaeton mentioned referring to the guy who rode the sun chariot and died? After reading it, I felt that what you tried to imply is life is not a fairy tale?
ReplyDeleteThanks for your comment, I think yours is the second ever that I've had. Yes, that's the guy, and knowing that myth is helpful I think. Yes, sort of. I was trying to say that the persona was not contented with life as he knew it (in other words, reality) just like Phaeton. And the 'I' realises that real reality is ugly. So he's left with lose-lose situation of believing a lie or accepting the ugly truth. That's why he is longing for 'the myth' before he started to ask questions about the nature of human reality. Hope that helps.
DeleteYes. It does help. Thank you.
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