Monday, 4 January 2016

Some thoughts on my resolutions

          In the past I haven’t really made concrete resolutions. A probable factor is that I’m afraid that I’ll fail. Sounds crude – and I’ll readily concede that point; yet for me, being unsure about the future often paralyses my decision-making faculties. So I play it safe, don’t risk things. I’ve always known I’m not the entrepreneurial type, nor do I possess amazing stores of self-discipline and drive to achieve any self-declared goal. I’ve always preferred others to set my aims and I’ll set about accomplishing them. Although I’m not very creative, I generally get things done.

          However, this year I’d like to do things slightly differently: I’m setting some resolutions! Here are three that I’ll mention.

          Firstly, I’d like to continue to grow as a Christian, especially in the area of prayer. I can read my Bible, I can read theology books, but I struggle with consistently setting apart some time each day to pray. I think that reflects a self-sufficient heart. I know that I don’t pray because I’m depending on myself too much. In other words, my lack of prayer is evidence of my lack of trust in God. That means, I can think with my mind and say with my mouth that God is sovereign and powerful; but as I daily live, in reality, God is small and weak if I don’t pray fervently. So what does this look like in practice? For now I’ve decided that every morning after my Quiet Time, I’ll spend at least 15 minutes praying for these things: 1) family, 2) friends and church back home in Malaysia, 3) friends here in Durham (or overseas), 4) church here in Durham, 5) people from whom I receive prayer letters. I’ll have a list of general permanent things to pray for, and another for prayer items as they are updated.

          Secondly, the 2016 Reading Challenge. You can find the challenge here and you might want to do it with someone/a group too! I’m doing the Avid Reader (26 books) challenge for a start and see whether I can exceed it, but the goal is still that (because I’m afraid that 52 is too big an ask). I should say that these are readings on top of my university work. That will keep things realistic. I’ll share my list up here once I’ve finalised it. I certainly hope that this will 1) give me motivation to finish reading books and review them, 2) help me learn self-discipline as I manage my time, and 3) be more well-read.

          Thirdly, and I think more specifically is an aspect of my character I’d like to work on. The Apostle Paul writes, ‘For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age…’ (Titus 2:11-12). God’s grace training me doesn’t mean I am a passive block of stone (cf. Philippians 2:12-13); and with a new status in Christ, I know I have to live differently. So I would like to learn humility in the coming year. A friend told me that he would give himself a theme word for the year which helps him to focus on one aspect of his life. I’m borrowing that idea and say (and pray) that God will be working through good and difficult times this year to shape me to be more humble (going back to point 1) and dependent on His grace. Thomas More writes that Pride is the root cause of societal evils. In some sense we can say that it is, because in relation to God, Pride says ‘Shut up God, I’m in charge, no place for you’ (and if we take the initials of the first letter of each phrase, we have ‘sin’! A friend shared this acrostic with me). I also think I’m a bit militant in some of my views, especially when I’m talking to other Christians. It’s not very helpful I think because I’m often more concerned about being right than seeking to build up.

          Right, so here are three of my resolutions for this year. I pray that God will help me live for His glory as I face life in 2016. 


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