In the past I
haven’t really made concrete resolutions. A probable factor is that I’m afraid
that I’ll fail. Sounds crude – and I’ll readily concede that point; yet for me,
being unsure about the future often paralyses my decision-making faculties. So I
play it safe, don’t risk things. I’ve always known I’m not the entrepreneurial type,
nor do I possess amazing stores of self-discipline and drive to achieve any self-declared
goal. I’ve always preferred others to set my aims and I’ll set about accomplishing
them. Although I’m not very creative, I generally get things done.
However, this year I’d like to do
things slightly differently: I’m setting some resolutions! Here are three that I’ll
mention.
Firstly, I’d like to continue to grow
as a Christian, especially in the area of prayer. I can read my Bible, I can
read theology books, but I struggle with consistently setting apart some time each
day to pray. I think that reflects a self-sufficient heart. I know that I don’t
pray because I’m depending on myself too much. In other words, my lack of
prayer is evidence of my lack of trust in God. That means, I can think with my
mind and say with my mouth that God is sovereign and powerful; but as I daily
live, in reality, God is small and weak if I don’t pray fervently. So what does
this look like in practice? For now I’ve decided that every morning after my
Quiet Time, I’ll spend at least 15 minutes praying for these things: 1) family,
2) friends and church back home in Malaysia, 3) friends here in Durham (or
overseas), 4) church here in Durham, 5) people from whom I receive prayer
letters. I’ll have a list of general permanent things to pray for, and another for
prayer items as they are updated.
Secondly, the 2016 Reading Challenge. You
can find the challenge here and you might want to do it with someone/a
group too! I’m doing the Avid Reader (26 books) challenge for a start and see whether
I can exceed it, but the goal is still that (because I’m afraid that 52 is too
big an ask). I should say that these are readings on top of my university work.
That will keep things realistic. I’ll share my list up here once I’ve finalised
it. I certainly hope that this will 1) give me motivation to finish reading
books and review them, 2) help me learn self-discipline as I manage my time, and
3) be more well-read.
Thirdly, and I think more specifically
is an aspect of my character I’d like to work on. The Apostle Paul writes, ‘For
the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, training us
to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled,
upright, and godly lives in the present age…’ (Titus 2:11-12). God’s grace training
me doesn’t mean I am a passive block of stone (cf. Philippians 2:12-13); and
with a new status in Christ, I know I have to live differently. So I would like
to learn humility in the coming
year. A friend told me that he would give himself a theme word for the year which
helps him to focus on one aspect of his life. I’m borrowing that idea and say
(and pray) that God will be working through good and difficult times this year to
shape me to be more humble (going back to point 1) and dependent on His grace. Thomas
More writes that Pride is the root cause of societal evils. In some sense we
can say that it is, because in relation to God, Pride says ‘Shut
up God, I’m in charge, no place for you’ (and if we take
the initials of the first letter of each phrase, we have ‘sin’! A friend shared
this acrostic with me). I also think I’m a bit militant in some of my views, especially
when I’m talking to other Christians. It’s not very helpful I think because I’m
often more concerned about being right than seeking to build up.
Right, so here are three of my
resolutions for this year. I pray that God will help me live for His glory as I
face life in 2016.
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