Poem: Once upon a Time

I wrote a poem for my school newspaper. Not sure if the form works, but I hope I achieved the effect I was aiming for. Feedback would be much appreciated. So here it goes:

Once Upon A Time

I watched my star of innocence atop

My roof go down, like brash Phaeton whose

Discontentment of his lot on earth, sought

To let the threads that held him earthbound loose.

No great amount of truth-seeking can rend

The veil that hides the truth that in man dwell

Such greed and pride and selfishness that bent -

A perfect world into a perfect hell.

A quick peek, a furtive peep – Terror yields.

Now I know not to which tale I make my plea:

That which, truth concealed or that which it reveals

This then my despairing confession be:

I pine for ‘once upon a time’ – that myth

Before the painted veil called life was lift. 

Poem: The House

I thought I'd share this poem I recently wrote. It's not great, but perhaps it will still be heard. 

The House

Let the doors be shut

And bar the windows too.

Lock the gates

That life may not tread

On its ground now bitterly shedding

The footprints of ebbing memories.

For this house is no more,

Its front an empty shell.

Its heart for bless’d Utopia has depart

A place of perfection surpassing all

The echoes of glories these four walls

With scarce, faint, dim, and weak vibes did impart.

The days progressed to years on end,

Till thoughts of hearth to forlorn pits descend;

Now warmth has left the double doors,

And silent whispers kiss the dusty floors.

For this house is no more,

Its front an empty shell.

Demons

I was listening to Imagine Dragons’ song ‘Demons’ and the lyrics struck me as being very true. The chorus goes

                    When you feel my heat

                    Look into my eyes

                    It’s where my demons hide

                    It’s where my demons hide

                    Don’t get too close

                    It’s dark inside

                    It’s where my demons hide

                    It’s where my demons hide

I think it is true that naturally we are very protective about who we really are. We never really consciously reveal our true selves to other people; because we know that it’s ugly and it’s messy and we are afraid that others cannot accept us for who we are. I know that’s very true of me.

But I think what is hardest for me to do is to let the people we are closest to see who we really are. Perhaps it’s because I don’t yet know if they will accept or reject me. I don’t want to disappoint, but I am often a disappointment to myself. I think it’s really tough trying to figure out the best way to be real to other people.

So yeah, there are demons that I hide, afraid of revealing them to the world. But often they haunt me; when I am alone, or when tired, when I’m faced with pressure or disappointment. This sounds bleak, but yes, I do think life is such – we often create illusions and consider them our reality; and we trick ourselves to believe in the stories we write: getting a good career, being a kind person, taking care of the planet – delusions really to feed the human ego.

But I’ve found one story that I think makes sense. It’s the story of the Bible – not the stories we find in the Bible - but how the whole Bible depicts and describes reality: that there are demons hiding in us, and that God Himself has come to deal with that problem through Jesus’ death on the cross and resurrection 3 days later. Colossians 2: 13-15 goes

And you, who were dead in your trespasses and the uncircumcision of your flesh, God made alive together with him, having forgiven us all our trespasses, by cancelling the record of debt that stood against us with its legal demands. This he sat aside, nailing it to the cross. He disarmed the rulers and authorities and put them to open shame, by triumphing over them in him.

So my demons have been dealt with, they have been defeated and forgiven; and I am no longer a slave to them, though I am still prone to heed their seductive calls. But when that happens, I guess I need to remember that what’s real is not the show I put on, but that I have been saved from my demons, and I no longer need to hide them – at least not from my Saviour.

But not hiding them from the world? I know I’ll still struggle to do that. Will people accept me when they see those defeated demons desperately try to regain a position they will never again attain? Maybe not. But that’s alright. I am reminded of a hymn I really like that says

                    When Satan tempts me to despair,

                    And tells me of the guilt within;

                    Upward I look and see Him there,

                    Who made an end of all my sin.

So even if everyone in the world despises me; even if those I hold dear rejects me, I know that Him who created me, and in whom I live and move and have my being, will not.